Sunday, January 25, 2009


HEY!!! I was so happy the other night because I was able to see Brandon on the web cam! Even though there was a big delay I was still able to see his beautiful face!! He was able to see me and the girls. It was very bitter sweet. I was very happy to see him but sad at the same time because it made me miss him even more. But I have squared my shoulders and am pushing on. I hope we get to do the more often!! It would be a breath of fresh air to able to see him again! I love and miss you BUNNY!

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

The days are long, the nights are even longer!

Well I guess I'm making my self write a new blog. I need to try and pull my self out of this funk that I'm in. I know that these blogs always make me feel alittle better every time I write one, so here it goes.

I took Brandon to work early Saturday morning (the 17th) and thats where I said goodbye. He had to be there by 0300 and finale good byes were at 0700. We didn't even sleep that night before we just sat and talked and wanted to spend every min. together. Once I got there and saw all the other guys getting their weapons drawn and packing their assault packs on the truck. It started to hit me like a ton of bricks. I did my best trying to keep everything together for Brandon but some tears just wouldn't stay hidden.

I was watching everyone sit and talk and talk shop like all the guys have done before but I did notice that there were some guys I know very well to be very loud and cocky, well this day they were very quite and soft spoken and teary eyed. Just watching how deployment effects everyone so differently is crazy to see. I did see fear in some of the young soldiers and I saw some that were very excited and ready to get the job done. But over all the moral was very low and some what had a creepy silence to it all.

Was I in the same place? Was this the old dirty smelly barracks? Wheres the guys running down the hall making fun of each other for some lame reason? Wheres the stupid guys that like to push each other down the hall in a desk chair? Now it's clean and rooms are empty and everyone is trying to keep it together. It was a very different place than from what I've seen before.

I hugged Brandon as much as I could while I was there and now I wish I would have hugged him more. My arms ache for him now. I left the barracks at 0630 and started my long drive home, which only really takes 4 mins. but it was snowing really bad and none of the streets have even been plowed yet. I really don't know how I made it home I cried my eyes out all the way there. What I kept thinking about was the last thing Brandon told me. He said that if there was anything to ever happen to him I need to know that he loves me and our babies, and that everything he has done or is going to be doing is for us. He said please Ruth let them know who their Daddy is, and that I'll always be with them. Well that was the last thing I ever wanted to hear come out of his mouth but I guess when your in the line of work he's in you have to sadly enough think of those kinds of things. But with many prayers and support I'm sure he'll be just fine.

After I got home I had to turn right around within a hour and take Becky to the air port. That drive alone was very scary because we had total white out conditions. But once we got there saying good bye to Becky was really hard!! I was so glad she had come out to visit and re leave some of the stress I was carrying. Coming home to a empty house and seeing all of Brandon's things he had ware the night before made me miss him like crazy. I must have hugged that shirt all day. Well here I am now just waiting till the next time he calls me. Seems like my day goes by alot faster when I get to talk to him. Emily is really starting to miss her daddy and doesn't know where he is or why he isn't coming home. I'm trying my best to help her with all that but with her age she just doesn't understand. I'll be sure to write more sorry so long but thoughts and feelings are just pouring out right now. I'm sure time will heal all but I my heart isn't complete until he gets home.

Thursday, January 8, 2009


Well looks like I've done it! Wouldn't you know it with everything else happening in my life right now. I go and break my wrist!

I broke it a month and half ago while falling down the stairs! (hahahaha) I was trying to be goofy with Brandon and I slipped and fell. It was pretty funny but somewhat hurt at the same time. I never went to the doctor (i have such a fear). And with all the shoveling of all the snow I have been re hurting it. well I went to the doctor today (thank you Brandon you were right) and he took xrays and yep broke. I actually broke 4 tiny bones, 2 of which have been broken twice. I didn't have to have a cast because the bones are so tiny but they put me into a soft cast and a brace for sleeping. It's funny to think about these tiny bones can be so painful. And I have got to hand it to the military doctors cause I was only given IB proffin. OH BOY that really helps..................not.

So thats not all of corse!! It never is when I finally go to the doctors!!! He sits me down and wants to talk about this white mass in my wrist! Well I tell you I'm thinking the the worst!! Turns out I guess I have a very bad cause (for my age) of carpa tunnel. (sorry I can't spell it) Well I guess the white mass is the size of a quarter. And he thinks I need to get in as soon as possible to have surgery. So I don't know how that'll happen while Brandon's gone so looks like I'll have to wait tell he gets back. Well after finding out how old my body is starting to get I thought ok just let me go home and milk it for all it's worth. hahahahaha But no he wants to xray my left wrist. well turns out I have a small amount in that one too. Great!! Sooooo oh well I guess life happens! I would love to wake up tomorrow with my 17 year old body again! But only in my dreams!! =(

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Thankful for family!!

I have to say I'm am so thankful for my family!!! With this hard time creeping closer and closer I have had many people sending emails and calls just to make sure we are OK with everything that's happening!! Thank you everyone. Yes this is a very stressful and depressing time, but with everyone showing lots of support it helps. I'm so happy to share that my big sister Becky is going to come out here this Monday and stay with me to say good by to Brandon!!!!! This will make my time to say good bye alot easier. Brandon feels the same he would rather have someone here with me to help with all the craziness.

Again thank you everyone so much, we truly feel loved and thought of often. We will keep everyone updated on everything that's happening.

Come home soon