Waiting

Hey every one just thought I'd stop and write a quick something. I'm still here and I do read all the blogs. Just time seems to drag when I don't want it to and when I get a chance to even get on the computer I never have enough time. So I have been reading every night and I am on my last book!! I read 4 books in a month and that is very rare for me!!!!! But I can't put them down. I'll be writing a blog about them and can't wait for you all to hear. I think every one would like it. Becky introduced them to me and I got my sister Rachael to start reading them. Also an older lady from walmart went and bought them after she asked me about them. CRAZY!!!! So I can't wait just bare with me, the girls keep me very busy but I'll tell you all about them in just a bit. Hope all is well for everyone.

WEB CAM

HEY!!! I was so happy the other night because I was able to see Brandon on the web cam! Even though there was a big delay I was still able to see his beautiful face!! He was able to see me and the girls. It was very bitter sweet. I was very happy to see him but sad at the same time because it made me miss him even more. But I have squared my shoulders and am pushing on. I hope we get to do the more often!! It would be a breath of fresh air to able to see him again! I love and miss you BUNNY!

The days are long, the nights are even longer!

Well I guess I'm making my self write a new blog. I need to try and pull my self out of this funk that I'm in. I know that these blogs always make me feel alittle better every time I write one, so here it goes.

I took Brandon to work early Saturday morning (the 17th) and thats where I said goodbye. He had to be there by 0300 and finale good byes were at 0700. We didn't even sleep that night before we just sat and talked and wanted to spend every min. together. Once I got there and saw all the other guys getting their weapons drawn and packing their assault packs on the truck. It started to hit me like a ton of bricks. I did my best trying to keep everything together for Brandon but some tears just wouldn't stay hidden.

I was watching everyone sit and talk and talk shop like all the guys have done before but I did notice that there were some guys I know very well to be very loud and cocky, well this day they were very quite and soft spoken and teary eyed. Just watching how deployment effects everyone so differently is crazy to see. I did see fear in some of the young soldiers and I saw some that were very excited and ready to get the job done. But over all the moral was very low and some what had a creepy silence to it all.

Was I in the same place? Was this the old dirty smelly barracks? Wheres the guys running down the hall making fun of each other for some lame reason? Wheres the stupid guys that like to push each other down the hall in a desk chair? Now it's clean and rooms are empty and everyone is trying to keep it together. It was a very different place than from what I've seen before.

I hugged Brandon as much as I could while I was there and now I wish I would have hugged him more. My arms ache for him now. I left the barracks at 0630 and started my long drive home, which only really takes 4 mins. but it was snowing really bad and none of the streets have even been plowed yet. I really don't know how I made it home I cried my eyes out all the way there. What I kept thinking about was the last thing Brandon told me. He said that if there was anything to ever happen to him I need to know that he loves me and our babies, and that everything he has done or is going to be doing is for us. He said please Ruth let them know who their Daddy is, and that I'll always be with them. Well that was the last thing I ever wanted to hear come out of his mouth but I guess when your in the line of work he's in you have to sadly enough think of those kinds of things. But with many prayers and support I'm sure he'll be just fine.

After I got home I had to turn right around within a hour and take Becky to the air port. That drive alone was very scary because we had total white out conditions. But once we got there saying good bye to Becky was really hard!! I was so glad she had come out to visit and re leave some of the stress I was carrying. Coming home to a empty house and seeing all of Brandon's things he had ware the night before made me miss him like crazy. I must have hugged that shirt all day. Well here I am now just waiting till the next time he calls me. Seems like my day goes by alot faster when I get to talk to him. Emily is really starting to miss her daddy and doesn't know where he is or why he isn't coming home. I'm trying my best to help her with all that but with her age she just doesn't understand. I'll be sure to write more sorry so long but thoughts and feelings are just pouring out right now. I'm sure time will heal all but I my heart isn't complete until he gets home.

AWWW MAN!

Well looks like I've done it! Wouldn't you know it with everything else happening in my life right now. I go and break my wrist!

I broke it a month and half ago while falling down the stairs! (hahahaha) I was trying to be goofy with Brandon and I slipped and fell. It was pretty funny but somewhat hurt at the same time. I never went to the doctor (i have such a fear). And with all the shoveling of all the snow I have been re hurting it. well I went to the doctor today (thank you Brandon you were right) and he took xrays and yep broke. I actually broke 4 tiny bones, 2 of which have been broken twice. I didn't have to have a cast because the bones are so tiny but they put me into a soft cast and a brace for sleeping. It's funny to think about these tiny bones can be so painful. And I have got to hand it to the military doctors cause I was only given IB proffin. OH BOY that really helps..................not.

So thats not all of corse!! It never is when I finally go to the doctors!!! He sits me down and wants to talk about this white mass in my wrist! Well I tell you I'm thinking the the worst!! Turns out I guess I have a very bad cause (for my age) of carpa tunnel. (sorry I can't spell it) Well I guess the white mass is the size of a quarter. And he thinks I need to get in as soon as possible to have surgery. So I don't know how that'll happen while Brandon's gone so looks like I'll have to wait tell he gets back. Well after finding out how old my body is starting to get I thought ok just let me go home and milk it for all it's worth. hahahahaha But no he wants to xray my left wrist. well turns out I have a small amount in that one too. Great!! Sooooo oh well I guess life happens! I would love to wake up tomorrow with my 17 year old body again! But only in my dreams!! =(

Thankful for family!!

I have to say I'm am so thankful for my family!!! With this hard time creeping closer and closer I have had many people sending emails and calls just to make sure we are OK with everything that's happening!! Thank you everyone. Yes this is a very stressful and depressing time, but with everyone showing lots of support it helps. I'm so happy to share that my big sister Becky is going to come out here this Monday and stay with me to say good by to Brandon!!!!! This will make my time to say good bye alot easier. Brandon feels the same he would rather have someone here with me to help with all the craziness.

Again thank you everyone so much, we truly feel loved and thought of often. We will keep everyone updated on everything that's happening.

Oh the dreaded deployment count down begins!

This blog entry is some what sobering some of these pictures will make you cry, but I feel this should be shown everyday. Just to remember that there are families out there missing their solider, and that they are fighting for MANY rights we enjoy today!

I soon will be joining theses ranks of people and we will all have many things in common. Brandon will be leaving home to fight in Afghanistan for a little over a year. He'll be leaving in a very short 2 weeks. As I sit here and write this I can't help but miss him already. Every time I even think about having to go through this again I can't help but cry. I try to be strong in front of him because I don't want him to think I'm gonna be a huge mess when he's gone but............. What can I do, the love of my life and the father of my children is leaving, fighting a war in a strange and foreign land, me not knowing if he's sick or hungry,cold or in harms way!

I have faith that he has been taught well in order to get the job done and come home safe. But I still worry. I'm a worry wart. The one thing that is going to kill me and will be very hard to keep strong, is watching my children miss him and not fully understanding why he's gone. We have tried to talk to Emily about whats going to happen but she really can't grasp the full meaning behind it all or really even remember what I said the day before. So this is come as a shock to her.

AGAIN** these pictures arn't for me to be dramatic but to show how deployment effects the entire family!****

People seem to tell me oohhh you'll be ok don't worry it'll be over before you know it. Well to me thats pretty harsh, because to everyone else it's another day, it's "boy that month went fast" and I hate my job. To me it's lonely nights, sleeping with the telephone, folding the last of his laundry wishing the next time I did laundry something of his was in it, and trying to keep the house and my self together. Lonely holidays and watching many "Firsts" of our children alone wishing he could see them too.

Watching the kids go through a tough deployment is the worst. Emily is so crazy about her daddy that everything she does she can't wait for daddy to get home just to show him, or run screaming through the house because he's home. I'm not looking forward to hearing her cry for daddy when she's sick or hurt (which she does EVERYTIME). Olivia is going to be hard because I'm afraid she'll start to forget him. She's young enough now for that to happen. I have to start making home videos and take lots of pictures to show her everyday.

I tend to get my self in trouble with some wives I know, because I hear about all the fights and all the name calling they do with each other. Or how something so small can set them off. Like not putting the toilet seat down or not picking up their socks on the floor or something really stupid. I've learned from my first deployment with Brandon that when I did all that nagging , when he was gone and I'd have nothing to pick up or put down or anything like that it made me miss him even more. And why in the hell did I nag so much when I could've used that time to just love him and thank god he was there. I don't do it any more thats for sure, I might find my self getting upset but I remember how it felt when he was gone, and I just do it.

Well I know that when he took this career this would be a path I'd find myself walking many times. And as an army wife I have to try and be strong at least to him and my kids. For all of you reading I hope the next time to see a soldier or an army wife thank them for the sacrifice they make every day to ensure your freedom. Adopt a soldier and send him cookies or something small to let him/her know someone home is thinking of them. Soldiers are a different breed, brave, strong, and honorable. I'll soon start my new blog recording all my days while he's away. Keeps our little family in your prayers. Thanks

I hate the snow!

Holy Cow it is still snowing.!!!!!!! We have had so much snow I can't believe this is happening. Yesterday me and Brandon spent forever clearing all the snow so we could get out of our drive way! Well wouldn't you know it w wake up this morning and IT'S SNOWING!!!! And it's not just this little tiny flakes. IT'S HUGE FLAKES!!!!!!!! We are going to have to start all over again and clear all of it. My arms ache so bad for having to shovel all day. Well maybe I'll come back to Colorado looking like I've worked out the entire time I've been out here.

All this snow just makes me wanna cry every time I look out the window. We have at least a 7 foot pile of snow next to our drive way from all the times we shovel it to the side and it looks like that crap isn't gonna melt until next August. People think living in a place like washington or some rainy state would be all depressing or something like that. But I have to tell you nothing is more depressing than looking out the window and for 3 weeks straight all you see it white dirty snow. Shoveling everyday just to run to the store to grab milk or diapers. It sucks. I'd rather deal with the rain!!!!

I HATE THE SNOW

Christmas Army style!!

We took the girls to the USO Christmas party It was lots of fun!! Lots of people were there with their families. It's crazy to see all the guys Brandon works with there and in the "civilian" clothes!

They had lots of food and fun things for the kids to do! The guy reading the book (the soldier's night before Christmas) is Capt. Harrison. He's a nice guy and loves doing this kind of stuff for the kids.

After the story they had a big craft table for the kids to make clothes pin reindeer. Emily was in hog heaven. Then Santa came and I thought Emily was going to loose it. We never told her he was going to be there so she could be surprised!! They both had lots of fun that night! I'm so glad that they are doing things that are geared toward the kids!! I've met alot of lady's out here that are very nice and our kids can play together.

By the time we left all the guys think it's pretty funny to get our kids all sugared up and send them back our way. When we got home Emily had a full blown sugar rush!! And a chocolate mustache to match!! All that candy the guys gave the kids was crazy it just knocked Livi out!

Things maybe you didn't know about me! (thanks lisa)

Here are some things you might not have known about me! Again thank you Lisa for the great idea!!

1. I wish i was a billionaire!
2. I dye my hair alot
3. I try to sing opera when no one is around
4. I also try to do ballet when no one is around!!
5. I hate onions
6. I love anything pumpkin!!
7. I sell Mary Kay and an a pearl beauty consultant
8. I can't spell very well
9. I use big words sometimes and really don't know what they mean!
10. I secretly wish I was prego again
11. But then again i don't
12. I have buyers remorse really bad!!!
13. I hate cooking dinner and making lunches!
14. I really like to bake
15. I think using a sewing machine is really fun
16. Am totally stocked to be Lisa's back up maid of honor!
17. I have to have coffee to even be able to function for the day
18. I love reality TV
19. Wish i could've been a rock star!
20. Wish I would've went to college
21. Need a good hour after waking up before I'm nice to any one
22. When no one's looking i like to try and slide in the snow!
23. I've never been to Disney land/world
24.I really wanna go!!
25. I bite my nails really bad
26. I don't bite them if I have fake nails on!!
27. I wax Brandon's eye brows and love it!! hehehe sorry Brandon
28. I'm not a fan of Valentine's Day! Why pay all the money just to say you love someone.
29. I love camping
30. I won't pee in the woods by my self.
31. I talk alot in my sleep
32. I need 12 hours of sleep to be normal
33. I hate being an army wife
34. I really wanna travel
35. I never know what to write on blogs, most likely why I'm doing this!

Hope you all had fun reading it! I'll have to sit and think of more.

movie tree

Thought everyone would wanna see our tree!! enjoy also the girls wanna say hi and merry christmas!!

They have had alot of fun putting up the tree this year!! We always play some really pretty music and try and have a great night together, but as you all know thats really hard to do when you have two kids that fight! But we made the best of it and our tree looks beautiful!!!! We sure do wish we could be home for the hoildays but maybe next year! We love you all and hope you all have a great and wounderful hoilday season!

Holy Snow!!!

Well when people told that up state NY snowed alot I always thought what could be worse than Colorado!! But I guess I didn't take anything they said to heart! I look out side and still can't believe whats happening! I took these pictures Saturday morning! Me and brandon had been shoveling snow for about 3 hours! we finally got done and started to walk inside and the snow plow guy came by and pushed everything back to the drive way and we had to start all over!

We were so upset I thought Brandon was going to loose it on this guy!

Well we finally got everything all said and done and wouldn't you know it that night we got dumped on again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG we just stood there and laughed at all the stupid snow coming down. I felt like a crazy person I was actually laughing at the snow! So we had to pick up and shovel again!

I guess from now on I'll start watching to what people tell me! I used to love the snow and now I hate it with a passion!!! Screw all this shoveling were are getting a snow blower!!!

Thanksgiving

Wow there has been alot of crazy things happening here that I'm just now being able to write about our thanksgiving!


The day was lots of fun and the house filled with lots of people. We had

Me
Brandon
Emily
Olivia
Sabrina
Pete
Cody
Nick
Cody's mom
Cody's dad
and pete's daughter Savanna

I don't know how I did it but I did. Cody's mom helped out ALOT in the kitchen to which I was very thankful. We had a big turkey and all the trimmings to beat! Me and Cody's mom did have a couple bottles of wine while making the meal and I think about half way through the cooking I really didn't care if it tasted good or not! hahaha But all in all it was great.

I was very thankful for alot of things that day!

My little family
my brave husband for fighting for our freedom
Cody's mom
snowquail wine
freezer to oven turkeys
for my brother matthew calling me to tell me about how i should be making my turkey even though it was pretty much done. I was just glad he called.
For matthew calling there fore openingt he gates for Lisa to call me back and have a great talk!
Paper plates!
fall air freshener
Xbox- it kept all the guys busy and to stop asking when dinner was gonna be ready.
my mom to not getting upset with me calling her every five mins. asking how to do stuff, and helping talk me through a very ruff morning! I don't know what I'd do with out her!!


and many many more. Every day in my life I'm thankful for so many things, whether big or small, just might have to take a closer look some times!
Love you all

Trade Me Places!

Brandon Getting His Purple Heart IN Iraq!!

Trade Me Places
He gets up every morning,and dresses for PT.

He gives me a kiss,and says he loves me as he leaves.

He goes to do his job,does everything he's told to do.

You may not like who he is,but you like your freedom don't you?

You want to be a protestor,and wave your little signs,

but if it wasn't for the soldier,you'd never have those rights.

The right to speak freely,and see your family every day,

they give those rights to you,while theirs are taken away.

They're sent to a different country,have to leave their families at home.

You're not too worried about your life,but in a moment his could be gone.

Next time you want to protest,think about this for me...

What if it was your son or husbandthat had been sent overseas?

Would you still be there standing,saying that war is wrong,

or would you be on your knees praying,that he

safely made it home?

I love this poem!

The wounders of Children

I have two beautiful, sweet, loving, crazy, wild girls fulling my life with twists and turns every moment of my day. They bring so much to the very nature of who I am it's ridiculous!







Emily (the hulk)- Well all I can say about this child is she's crazy 90 % of the time! Maybe it's the age right now but she has lead me to believe that she was switched at birth. Well we all know that, thats totally not the truth but all in all I would never change a minute of who she is. So many people have told me that I acted the same way when I was young. Hummmmm sometimes I find that hard to believe, but who knows. She's very loving and likes to snuggle and kiss and hug, 5 minutes later she'll want to climb to the highest point of the couch and jump on you like something out of scary movie! She loves to try and do your hair and bless her heart she really tries but in the end it's looks like a wild bee's nest on top of your head! Her newest thing she says all the time is "you've got to be kidding me" I don't know where she got that but new things pop outta her mouth everyday. We have given her the nick name "the hulk" because when she gets upset or is ready to throw a fit she balls up her fists and looks like she ready to start shredding her cloths and almost starts to turn green! She is really pretty funny when she does that which makes her even more mad. She is also the little helper!! She loves her baby sister and wants to be apart of everything I do with Olivia. Even if it means tossing a smelly diaper in the trash, she does it with a smile. Man I wish some adults could have that same spunk! Haha. At the end of the day Emily is my little fire cracker with a short fuse! I love her to death for everything she is and will become. But lets just say she's the cutest when shes sleeping!







Olivia (Chunk)- Awwwww my little peanut head!! Well we call her "the chunk" because this little thing can pack it away! Food I mean! Every waking moment she has to have something in her little hand! Her favorite thing to eat right now is beagles. Nothing on them just plan and she'll want the whole thing not just a half. God forbid you give her a half and she's ready to strangle you in your sleep! She has recently started crawling and really takes off! You see her sitting there and 2 seconds later she's in the kitchen pulling out all my pots and pans ready to make some monster drum solo as if she was in a heavy metal band. She is very happy most of the day! She loves to play patty cake and watch cartoons. Daddy is her world and loves to play with him the most. I get pushed away until it's time to get my butt in the kitchen and get her something to eat! If she could talk I'm sure thats what she'd say!!!! Her and Emily play very well together! They'll fight every now and then but what would sisters do if they didn't. Livi is not much of a snuggler and tries to wiggle out of any hold you might have on her! She also very interested in other people's teeth!! Its some what embarrassing because someone new will hold her and the next thing they know they have a baby hand trying to get into their mouth! And after all the food she's held in that little hand let me tell ya it's not pretty! She's my little princess and lots of fun to be around. She always has a smile for someone new and isn't afraid to show off for any one! She's my little pinkie pie beany stash. (that nick name will come later long story)






I know this is long but how can you explain your beautiful children in such a short sentence? I look forward to each new day with them but also look forward to putting them to bed! I thank god each night for giving me these two little sweet peas. I have no idea what my life would be like with out them here! Maybe more rested?!!







TTFN







Ruthie

Wow

Well I have finally started the whole Blog thing and maybe I'll have readers and maybe not, but this will be a great way for me to channel all this buzz i have running and jumping inside my head at all hours of the day!

Believe it or not even me the average house wife has lots to ponder on during the day while I'm Scrubbing the toilet ( my favorite thing to do) and yelling at my kids! With Brandon getting ready to go to war and me here alone in New York! I'm sure lots of crazy things will pop outta my head left and right!

There is lots of crazy drama happening here right now but I'll let all of that unfold a little more before I spill any beans! Army wives are crazy! and the guys are even crazier. Me I like to sit in the back and watch. I am not going down that road. Just smile and wave!

TTFN Ruthie